Ayleen Charlotte lost two years of her life, over €140K, and years of good credit to a man she met on Tinder that she later learned was a fraudster. Today she runs S.A.F.E. (Scam Awareness & Fraud Education) to teach others how to fight back against scams and fraud.
On October 29 at 1:10 PM PT, Ayleen joins Lisa Plaggemier, Executive Director of the National Cybersecurity Alliance, for “Swiped, Scammed, Survived: The Psychology Behind the Tinder Swindler” at the 4th Annual Safer Ecommerce Day. We sat down with both of them ahead of the event, with PayPal’s Melissa Sutherland moderating. Here is a sneak peek, plus what you can put into practice today.
1. The payment is the last checkpoint
When asked who’s winning the race to stop scams, Lisa was blunt: right now, nobody but the bad guys. By the time a victim sends money, the scammer has already done the work elsewhere, and the payment is often the last chance to step in. But an authorized payment from a known customer passes standard checks. And as Ayleen points out, shame keeps victims silent, so many won’t speak up even when something feels off.
For risk teams: Add friction where scams surface, such as first-time payees and escalating payment amounts. Make sure frontline and dispute scripts don’t blame, so victims keep talking to you instead of the scammer.
2. KYC isn’t just for banks anymore
Dutch police found investment scam ads on one of the Netherlands’ largest newspaper sites, live for a day or two and then gone. Nobody was screening them. Acquirers and marketplaces know the pattern: merchants and sellers that board clean and turn bad later. “KYC isn’t just for banks anymore,” Lisa said.
For risk teams: Treat onboarding as the start of due diligence, not the end. Ongoing monitoring of merchants, sellers and advertisers catches what goes live after approval.
3. Follow the money, including your own revenue
The question the industry avoids, Ayleen said, is who earns money from fraud. Lisa pointed to ad revenue from fake profiles, telcos paid for scam texts and ISPs serving scam centers. Processing fees and marketplace commissions on scam transactions belong on that list too. “Do we want to make money that we know is going to lead to another person’s loss?” Lisa asked.
For risk teams: Find your own perverse incentives. Flag merchants, sellers and advertisers with scam-related complaints, refunds or chargebacks, then offboard them. Strip that revenue out of sales and growth targets, so no team is rewarded for volume that comes from victims.
Hear the full conversation on October 29
Ayleen and Lisa will go deeper into the psychology of romance scams and how fraud prevention professionals can fight back in their session at Safer Ecommerce Day. It’s one of more than a dozen sessions at the event, alongside speakers from Mastercard, Visa, PayPal, AARP, OCCRP, NACHA and Operation Shamrock.
- When: Thursday, October 29, 2026, 9:00 AM–4:30 PM PT
- Where: Online, free to attend
- Bonus: Eligible for up to 9 ETA CPP Continuing Education credits
- Can’t make it live? Register anyway to get all session recordings.